Ne su viena mama kalb\u0117jau ir visos patvirtino, kad auginant du ir daugiau vaik\u0173 kasdien jau\u010diasi \u012ftampa d\u0117l tarp j\u0173 kylan\u010di\u0173 pe\u0161tyni\u0173. Jau \u012fsitikinau, kad leisti tiesiog ,,bujoti\u201d ir elgtis kaip kas nori – netinkamas variantas. Ta\u010diau atimti visi\u0161k\u0105 laisv\u0119 ir nuolat stov\u0117ti kaip \u017eandarui – irgi negerai. Bet suderinus abu dalykus gaunasi labai gera formul\u0117, formuojanti teising\u0105 \u017emogaus m\u0105stysen\u0105. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aukl\u0117jime n\u0117ra nieko efektyviau, negu leisti pa\u010diam vaikui atrasti, pa\u017einti ir patirti. J\u016bs tai \u017einote. Tai tarsi \u012fsira\u0161o \u012f \u0161ird\u012f ir lieka ilgam. Taigi, naudojantis \u0161iuo principu, ir gimsta viduriukas – i\u0161 vienos pus\u0117s leid\u017eiame vaikams patiems dalyvauti pe\u0161tyn\u0117se, i\u0161gyventi k\u0105 rei\u0161kia b\u016bti nuskriaustu ar jaustis galingu, mokytis spr\u0119sti konfliktus, augti savaranki\u0161kai (\u017einoma, jeigu tai nekelia tikro pavojus vaikams), o i\u0161 kitos pus\u0117s – nepaliaujamai kuriame tvarius santykius, ger\u0173 santyki\u0173 tarp \u017emoni\u0173 vaizdin\u012f, savo pavyzd\u017eiu rodydami, kad net ir nesutarimai gali atvesti mus prie abipusio ry\u0161io.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u012esitikinau, kad toks rei\u0161kinys kaip pe\u0161tyn\u0117s turi savo vaidmen\u012f m\u016bs\u0173 gyvenime. Ir mes, kaip t\u0117vai, turime galimyb\u0119 i\u0161mokyti vaikus pasinaudoti jomis, kad jie \u012fgyt\u0173 teisingus komunikavimo \u012fg\u016bd\u017eius, kurie lyd\u0117s juos vis\u0105 gyvenim\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kam to reikia?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Da\u017eniausiai tarp vaik\u0173 kylantys kivir\u010dai visuomen\u0117je atrodo kaip neigiamas, visus dirginantis dalykas. Tad nat\u016bralu, kad siekiame kuo grei\u010diau ,,u\u017eg\u0119sinti gaisr\u0105\u201d \u012fsiki\u0161dami patys. Taip, spaud\u017eiami visuomen\u0117s, neleid\u017eiame vaikams augti savaranki\u0161kai. Apribojame juos savo sprendimais, jie nebeturi galimybi\u0173 b\u016bti k\u016brybi\u0161ki ir mokytis komunikavimo meno patys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Suprantama, kad mums tai tikras i\u0161\u0161\u016bkis. Bet kartu ir akivaizdu, kad kito kelio n\u0117ra – reikia daryti poky\u010dius \u0161ioje kartoje, kad i\u0161saugoti sekan\u010di\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kaip tai atrodo?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Vienas i\u0161 pavyzd\u017ei\u0173: <\/em>dukra ateina pas mane ir skund\u017eiasi, kad brolis pa\u0117m\u0117 jos lego detales. Ankstesn\u0117 a\u0161 b\u016bt\u0173 nu\u0117jusi ai\u0161kintis ir ie\u0161koti teisyb\u0117s, turb\u016bt apkaltinusi s\u016bn\u0173 netinkamu elgesiu ir pan.. Ir tai tik b\u016bt\u0173 i\u0161provokav\u0119 neigiam\u0105 vaik\u0173 atsak\u0105. O naujoji a\u0161 tiesiog pasako: ,,Atsipra\u0161au, bet a\u0161 nesu policinink\u0117. Myliu jus abu vienodai, tad gausit patys i\u0161siai\u0161kinti.\u201d. Viskas. Dukra nustojo sk\u0173stis ir u\u017e keli\u0173 minu\u010di\u0173 jie jau draugai (beje, a\u0161 turiu mad\u0105 slapta klausytis kas vyksta \ud83e\udd2b).<\/p>\n\n\n\n K\u0105 visa tai duoda?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Pasteb\u0117jau, kad vos a\u0161 nustoju b\u016bti teisuol\u0117 mama ir l\u012fsti \u012f j\u0173 pe\u0161tynes, vaikai nustoja manipuliuoti mumis. Jie tikrai pradeda ie\u0161koti kaip i\u0161sispr\u0119sti problemas patiems ir matau, kaip kei\u010diasi j\u0173 komunikavimas. Ger\u0117ja. Nors ir kartais sprendimai baigiasi a\u0161aromis, dur\u0173 trenksmu ir vienas kito erzinimu, bet taip ir mokom\u00e8s \u012f vis\u0105 pa\u017evelgti kaip \u012f nat\u016bral\u0173 gamtos rei\u0161kin\u012f, mums duot\u0105 i\u0161\u0161\u016bk\u012f, kur\u012f galime \u012fveikti tik kartu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0160tai kod\u0117l a\u0161 tikiu, kad svarbu leisti vaikams patiems atrasti, kad sveikas komunikavimas tarp \u017emoni\u0173 ne\u012fmanomas tik i\u0161 vienos pus\u0117s. Tik i\u0161 neigiamos ar tik i\u0161 teigiamos. Visada reikia ry\u0161ki\u0173 ,,prieskoni\u0173\u201d. Atitinkamai ir ugdome tok\u012f po\u017ei\u016br\u012f, jog tinkamai panaudoti kivir\u010dai, nesutarimai atveda \u017emon\u0117s prie tikros meil\u0117s. Ko labai noriu savo vaikams!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kada prad\u0117ti?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Svarbu nepamir\u0161ti fakto, kad vaikai iki 3-4 met\u0173 dar nesugeba suvokti kas yra santykis su kitu \u017emogumi, kaip jis kuriamas. Tad nereik\u0117t\u0173 per daug versti draugauti, laikytis ka\u017ekoki\u0173 susitarim\u016b. Ver\u010diau rodyti tinkam\u0105 pavyzd\u012f, kaip tai daroma ir kantriai laukti kol vaikas pasieks tokio lygmens, kad jau bus paj\u0117gus prisijungti prie visos \u0161eimos tri\u016bso.<\/p>\n\n\n\n K\u0105 daryti?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Prad\u0117ti palaipsniui. Nuolat analizuoti kas vyksta, kod\u0117l vyksta. Sujungdami visk\u0105 \u012f vien\u0105 visum\u0105 pasieksime teisingo gyvenimo, kur visi egzistuojantys dalykai – geri ir blogi – ras sau viet\u0105. Patys i\u0161moksime priimti blogus santykius tarp m\u016bs\u0173 kaip nat\u016bral\u0173 rei\u0161kin\u012f tarp \u017emoni\u0173, \u017einosime, kad pas kiekvien\u0105 kyla ir kils \u012fvairi\u0173 emocini\u0173 protr\u016bki\u0173, bet mes kartu studijuosime savo prigimt\u012f, nekaltinsime vienas kito u\u017e tai, kokius mus suk\u016br\u0117 gamta. Tiesiog statysime santykius vir\u0161 instinkt\u0173 lygmens, o pe\u0161tyn\u0117s ir liks pe\u0161tyn\u0117mis, be ketinimo pakenkti ar \u012fskaudinti kit\u0105. Ir paseka to, palaipsniui suprasime, jog taip ir kuriami geri santykiai – nepaisant prigimties, i\u0161liekant \u017emogumi. \u012egausime gyvenimo i\u0161mint\u012f ir b\u016bsime laiminga sociumo dalimi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ne su viena mama kalb\u0117jau ir visos patvirtino, kad auginant du ir daugiau vaik\u0173 kasdien jau\u010diasi \u012ftampa d\u0117l tarp j\u0173 kylan\u010di\u0173 pe\u0161tyni\u0173. Jau \u012fsitikinau, kad leisti tiesiog ,,bujoti\u201d ir elgtis kaip kas nori – netinkamas variantas. Ta\u010diau atimti visi\u0161k\u0105 laisv\u0119 ir nuolat stov\u0117ti kaip \u017eandarui – irgi negerai. Bet suderinus abu dalykus gaunasi labai gera […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11220,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vaiku-auklejimas-straipsniai"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d.jpg",800,400,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d-300x150.jpg",300,150,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d-768x384.jpg",768,384,true],"large":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d.jpg",800,400,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d.jpg",800,400,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/e752ba2e-f31f-40cb-931d-2d77840b759d.jpg",800,400,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"iMami","author_link":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/author\/roberta-rumbutienegmail-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Ne su viena mama kalb\u0117jau ir visos patvirtino, kad auginant du ir daugiau vaik\u0173 kasdien jau\u010diasi \u012ftampa d\u0117l tarp j\u0173 kylan\u010di\u0173 pe\u0161tyni\u0173. Jau \u012fsitikinau, kad leisti tiesiog ,,bujoti\u201d ir elgtis kaip kas nori – netinkamas variantas. Ta\u010diau atimti visi\u0161k\u0105 laisv\u0119 ir nuolat stov\u0117ti kaip \u017eandarui – irgi negerai. Bet suderinus abu dalykus gaunasi labai gera…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11221","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11221"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11221\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11222,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11221\/revisions\/11222"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11220"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11221"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11221"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11221"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}