{"id":4586,"date":"2020-06-29T23:10:13","date_gmt":"2020-06-29T20:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/?p=4586"},"modified":"2020-06-30T16:05:47","modified_gmt":"2020-06-30T13:05:47","slug":"santykiu-pamatai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/santykiu-pamatai\/","title":{"rendered":"SANTYKI\u0172 PAMATAI"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ar kada nors teko pajausti keist\u0105 jausm\u0105, kai kitas \u017emogus bendrauja kaip ir su tavimi, bet tu tiesiog jauti, kad jis kalba su ,,kitokiu\u201d tavimi, kad jis turi susidar\u0119s ka\u017ekoki\u0105 nuomon\u0119 apie tave ir bendrauja b\u016btent su tuo vaizdiniu, o ne tikruoju tavimi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017dmogus yra emocinis fotoaparatas, kuris, fiksuodamas savo reakcijas, \u012fsp\u016bd\u017aius kit\u0173 at\u017evilgiu, kuria j\u0173 vaizdinius savyje. Tad a\u0161 nebendrauju su \u017emogumi tokiu, koks jis yra. A\u0161 bendrauju su vaizdiniu, kur\u012f pati ir susikuriu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Labiausiai \u0161\u012f rei\u0161kin\u012f pasteb\u0117jau savo santykiuose su vyru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viskas prasid\u0117jo vos tik mes susipa\u017einome. Iki tol man Jis buvo kaip ir dauguma mane supan\u010di\u0173 dalyk\u0173, kuri\u0173 a\u0161 net nepastebiu. Iki tol Jis man buvo kaip akmens gabalas: be formos, i\u0161vaizdos, skonio, spalv\u0173. 0 vertinimo i\u0161 mano pus\u0117s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bet, kai susitikome pirm\u0105kart \u012fvyko pirmasis \u017eybtel\u0117jimas. Toks nes\u0105moningas jausmas, kad Jis mano.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ilgai nelaukus kilo antroji banga – i\u0161orinis \u012fvertinimas. Kaip kokiame \u017eaidime automati\u0161kai pagal mano patinka \/ nepatinka vertinimo sistem\u0105 susid\u0117jo pliusai ir minusai. Laim\u0117jo pliusai! \ud83d\ude01\ud83d\udcaa\ud83c\udffb Paprastai hormonai taip i\u0161derina t\u0105 sistem\u0105, kad pliusai laimi gan didele persvara. Negaliu miegoti, valgyti, galvoti apie save, visos mano pastangos ->>>> Jam \ud83e\udd70.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nat\u016bralu, kad taip u\u017esimezg\u0117 artimesnis ry\u0161ys, vis dar joki\u0173 ry\u0161ki\u0173 minus\u0173 ar net noro j\u0173 ie\u0161koti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kuo toliau, tuo labiau santykiai vystosi, br\u0119sta. Pradedu matyti, kad atsiskleid\u017eia dalykai, kurie man labiau nepatinka, nei patinka. Vertinimo skal\u0117 i\u0161 karto kei\u010diasi, susid\u0117lioja nauji parametrai, kurie kaip ir duoda signal\u0105, kad \u201eEi, atsirado minus\u0173!\u201c. Ir kuo mes labiau art\u0117jame vienas prie kito, tuo daugiau pamatau, kad yra milijonas dalyk\u0173, d\u0117l kuri\u0173 gal\u0117\u010diau priekai\u0161tauti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar viena labai svarbi detal\u0117 – vyras tai nepasikeit\u0117, jis visada toks ir buvo. Pakito tik mano vertinimas, kuris yra tik suformuotas i\u0161 mano patinka\/nepatinka sistemos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tai galiausiai vienoje pus\u0117je jau\u010diu dalykus, kurie man Jame patinka ir traukia, o kitoje – kurie nepatinka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beje, vyras irgi turi tok\u012f pat vertinim\u0105 mano at\u017evilgiu. Akivaizdu, kad tai suderinti, kad visur b\u016bt\u0173 vienoda – ne\u012fmanoma!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daugumos por\u0173 bendras kelias ir baigiasi \u010dia\u2026 \u017dmon\u0117s tiesiog netur\u0117jo stiprios aplinkos, kuri i\u0161kelt\u0173 partnerio (-\u0117s) svarb\u0105, kad patinkan\u010dios jo\/jos savyb\u0117s b\u016bt\u0173 svarbiau, nei nepatinka\u010dios. Kad pad\u0117t\u0173 porai s\u0105moningai kurti santykius, padengiant visk\u0105 svarba, meile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u017dmogaus prigimtis tokia, kad jam labai sunku kit\u0105 \u012fvertinti geriau, nei jis pats. Ir mes negalime \u0161ios prigimties ignoruoti, bandyti nuslopinti. Tam reikalinga aplinka: \u017emon\u0117s, kurie supranta ir palaiko, primena apie partnerio atsidavim\u0105 m\u016bs\u0173 santykiams; knygos, straipsniai, filmai, ir kitokia informacija, kuri kalba apie santyki\u0173 svarb\u0105, pagarb\u0105 partneriui, apie meil\u0119.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeigu man\u0119s kas paklaust\u0173, kokios yra neigiamos mano vyro savyb\u0117s, a\u0161 negal\u0117\u010diau \u012fvardyti n\u0117 vienos. A\u0161 nepa\u017e\u012fstu tikrojo savo vyro, \u017einau tik tiek, kiek Jis, jo elgesys, savyb\u0117s man patinka \/ nepatinka. Bet ir tai nuolat kinta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u0161 kitos pus\u0117s, kam man to reikia? Mane domina kaip padaryti m\u016bs\u0173 meil\u0119 vis stipresn\u0119, gilesn\u0119, tad visas pastangas d\u0117du, jog nepasiduo\u010diau savo prigim\u010diai, norui pa\u017eeminti kitus, o save i\u0161kelti, ir atsikleidus bet kokiam minusui – pra\u0161y\u010diau aplinkos pagalbos \u012fkv\u0117pti mane kurti santykius, s\u0105moningai pasirinkti vyro teigiamas savybes vir\u0161 atsiskleidusio minuso.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man tokie santykiai atrodo gyvi, tobul\u0117jantys. Gamtoje viskas turi prie\u0161ybes: plius\u0105 ir minus\u0105, \u0161ilta ir \u0161alta, dien\u0105 ir nakt\u012f\u2026 tad ir m\u016bs\u0173 santykiai turi savyje tur\u0117ti ir minus\u0105, ir plius\u0105. Nes jeigu neb\u016bt\u0173 minuso, a\u0161 netur\u0117\u010diau jokios galimyb\u0117s \u012fvertinti kiek i\u0161 tikro myliu savo vyr\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ar kada nors teko pajausti keist\u0105 jausm\u0105, kai kitas \u017emogus bendrauja kaip ir su tavimi, bet tu tiesiog jauti, kad jis kalba su ,,kitokiu\u201d tavimi, kad jis turi susidar\u0119s ka\u017ekoki\u0105 nuomon\u0119 apie tave ir bendrauja b\u016btent su tuo vaizdiniu, o ne tikruoju tavimi?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4523,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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