{"id":5542,"date":"2020-08-29T00:38:01","date_gmt":"2020-08-28T21:38:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/?p=5542"},"modified":"2020-09-02T18:38:09","modified_gmt":"2020-09-02T15:38:09","slug":"atideti-konflikta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/atideti-konflikta\/","title":{"rendered":",,ATID\u0116TI\u201d KONFLIKT\u0104?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Kelet\u0105 dien\u0173 vis galvoju apie konfliktus. Ir ne tik poroje, bet apskritai tarp \u017emoni\u0173. Kod\u0117l gi mes nemokame ar negalime sugyventi kartu?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tikrai skepti\u0161kai \u017ei\u016briu \u012f \u012fvairius teorinius patarimus, jeigu jie nesiri\u0161a prie gamtos d\u0117sni\u0173, yra atitol\u0119 nuo \u017emogaus prigimties. Sklaido ore daugyb\u0117 patarim\u0173 kaip suvaldyti konfliktus, bet dauguma j\u0173 tiesiog neveikia. Pasirodo n\u0117ra taip lengva suvaldyti t\u0105 emocin\u0119 ma\u0161in\u0105 – \u017emog\u0173.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O ar galiu d\u0117l to ka\u017ek\u0105 padaryti?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kiek jau susipa\u017einau su \u012frankiais, padedan\u010diais \u017emon\u0117ms suart\u0117ti, galiu pasidalinti, kad da\u017eniausiai besikartojan\u010dios klaidos yra: ne\u017einojimas savo prigimties (instinkt\u0173), nesugeb\u0117jimas sustoti laiku, nutraukti ar atid\u0117ti konflikt\u0105.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prigimtis<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Kilus skirting\u0173 nuomoni\u0173, nor\u0173, sieki\u0173 susikirtimui mano nat\u016brali reakcija – prie\u0161i\u0161kumas, noras \u012frodyti savo ties\u0105, bei pa\u017eeminti kit\u0105 taip, kad atrody\u010diau geresn\u0117 u\u017e j\u012f. Ir tai da\u017eniausiai daro abi pus\u0117s net nesuvokdamos, kad daro. Tad toje klambyn\u0117je praleid\u017eiame nema\u017eai laiko. Tai \u012ftakoja m\u016bs\u0173 savijaut\u0105, o tada atsiliepia ir darbe, bendraujant su kitais \u017emon\u0117mis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u012edomu tai, kad tas kito \u017eeminimas ir ,,savo\u201d tiesos \u012frodymas netgi teikia savoti\u0161k\u0105 pasitenkinim\u0105. Logi\u0161ka, nes man daug lengviau (kad ir juoko forma) ka\u017ek\u0105 sumenkinti, negu leisti sau j\u012f pamatyti geresniu nei a\u0161, pasakyti kompliment\u0105. Mano puikyb\u0117 tai sunkiai atlaiko \ud83d\ude48\ud83d\ude01. Bet tokia yra \u017emogaus nat\u016brali veikimo programa, galiu gyventi taip kasdien iki kol pradedu matyti kaip tai tampa bjauru ne tik mano \u0161eimoje, bet ir darbe, su draugais, kaimynais. Tada norisi ka\u017ek\u0105 keisti, kurti s\u0105moningus santykius, kurie b\u016bt\u0173 auk\u0161\u010diau mano nat\u016bralios prigimties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Geb\u0117jimas sustoti, sustabdyti, atid\u0117ti<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Asmeni\u0161kai man, kiekvien\u0105 akimirk\u0105 labai padeda klausimas sau ,,kod\u0117l?\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kod\u0117l mes kartu? Kam mes reikalingi vienas kitam? Kod\u0117l tur\u0117\u010diau mokytis kaip bendrauti? Kod\u0117l man reikia patyl\u0117ti? Kod\u0117l tur\u0117\u010diau nusileisti? Kod\u0117l turiu nespr\u0119sti problemos dabar, o j\u0105 ,,palikti\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mums puikiai \u017einomas yra pavyzdys, kai susipe\u0161a vaikai. K\u0105 mes pirma darome? Atskiriame juos. Vien\u0105 \u012f vien\u0105 kambar\u012f, kit\u0105 \u012f kit\u0105, nes \u017einome, kad ,,j\u0173 akys dabar aklos\u201d ir pe\u0161tyn\u0117s j\u0173 nesuartins kaip broli\u0173 ar seser\u0173. T\u0105 moment\u0105 mes nenorime kalb\u0117ti apie j\u0173 tr\u016bkumus, kad jie elgiasi nepriimtinai, bet stengiam\u0117s priminti, kad esame \u0161eima, kaip svarbu tur\u0117ti brol\u012f ar ses\u0119, kaip gera yra myl\u0117ti ir pan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tarp suaugusi\u0173 galioja tas pats principas: kilus nesutarimui, nuomoni\u0173 susikirtimui, kuris gali i\u0161augti \u012f konflikt\u0105, mes tiesiog stabdome j\u012f, neduodami jam maitinimo. Ir kai vis kyla mintys ,,bet tai, o kaip tai..?\u201d ir noras ,,i\u0161siai\u0161kinti\u201d, a\u0161 visa tai s\u0105moningai stabdau ir sakau sau: ,,taip, suprantu, tu teisi, bet \u0161ia minut\u0119 man svarbesnis yra ry\u0161ys su \u0161iuo \u017emogumi. A\u0161 vertinu jo pastangas d\u0117l m\u016bs\u0173 \u0161eimos, o apie savo ,,teisum\u0105\u201d pakalb\u0117sime v\u0117liau\u201d. Skamba ne\u012fprastai? Bet tai vienas i\u0161 b\u016bd\u0173 s\u0105moningai suart\u0117ti su partneriu. Gamta to i\u0161 m\u016bs\u0173 reikalauja. Ji tikisi, kad mes b\u016btent taip pasirinksim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ir, many\u010diau, nesvarbu, jog partneris t\u0105 akimirk\u0105 nedaro to paties. Pirmojo pavyzdys visada nuginkluoja, nes kai niekas tav\u0119s nebepuola – nelieka nuo ko gintis, tai tave neautralizuoja ir tu nusiramini.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0161 net gird\u0117jau tok\u012f pavyzd\u012f i\u0161 moters, kad jai buvo baisiai sunki diena, ji visa net pasi\u0161iau\u0161usi nuo nerv\u0173 ir namo pareina vyras. \u017dinoma, konfliktas jau u\u017eprogramuotas. \u012eprastai vyras arba ignoruodavo \u017emonos b\u016bsenas arba pasileisdavo gin\u010dytis ir ai\u0161kintis d\u0117l kiekvienos smulkmenos, ta\u010diau t\u0105dien, net ir \u017einodamas \u017emonos priekai\u0161tus jam, jos nepasitenkinim\u0105, jis susikaup\u0117, at\u0117jo \u012f virtuv\u0119, tvirtai apkabino savo \u017emon\u0105 ir ramiu balsu paklaus\u0117: ,,kaip jautiesi?\u201d. Viskas. Moteris nuginkluota. Prie\u0161ais j\u0105 – mylintis vyras, niekas nepuola, n\u0117ra nuo ko gintis. Visi vidiniai prie\u0161taravimai liko, ta\u010diau jie prispausti meil\u0117s, kuri leid\u017eia ramiai susiderinti smulkmenas savo laiku ir jau nenorint pakeisti kito pagal save, o priimant j\u012f tok\u012f, koks jis yra. Juk mane \u017eavi jo vidinis ,,A\u0161\u201d. A\u0161 j\u012f myliu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Taip veikia gamtos d\u0117sniai. Ne\u017einodami j\u0173 \u0161audome \u012f visas puses, skaudiname ir ,,\u017eudome\u201d vieni kitus. O pasirodo, kad \u017emogui reikia \u012fd\u0117ti vos \u0161iek tiek pastang\u0173, ir galimai katastrofa besibaigianti situacija virsta dar viena \u017eie\u017eirba \u012f neu\u017eg\u0119stant\u012f meil\u0117s \u017eidin\u012f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u016bs\u0173 niekas nemok\u0117 kaip kurti teisingus santykius, laviruoti tuose konflikt\u0173 labirintuose. Laikmetis reikalauja tapti s\u0105moningiems ir patiems mokytis vir\u0161 vis\u0173 prie\u0161ybi\u0173 rinktis tvirt\u0105 gyvenimo pagrind\u0105 – gerus tarpusavio santykius.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Labai daug laimime suprasdami, kad mes niekada neb\u016bsime identi\u0161ki, visada skirsis norai, nuomon\u0117s, bet m\u016bs\u0173 u\u017eduotis – bandyti \u017eengti \u017eingsnel\u012f pirmyn link suart\u0117jimo, link tikro ry\u0161io, kuris kaip up\u0117 u\u017elies visas mintis, atgaivins ir pa\u017eadins tikrus poj\u016b\u010dius, meil\u0119 kitam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u0161mintinga moteris \u017eino, kad ji aplink save \u012ftakoja labai daug dalyk\u0173, tad norisi padr\u0105sinti \u012fne\u0161ti s\u0105moningumo, savikritikos, sviugdos \u012f m\u016bs\u0173 tarpusavio santykius. Ir \u017eingsnis po \u017eingsnio mums pavyks! Vaikai mums pad\u0117kos \ud83d\udda4\ud83d\ude09\ud83e\udd42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kelet\u0105 dien\u0173 vis galvoju apie konfliktus. Ir ne tik poroje, bet apskritai tarp \u017emoni\u0173. Kod\u0117l gi mes nemokame ar negalime sugyventi kartu?! Tikrai skepti\u0161kai \u017ei\u016briu \u012f \u012fvairius teorinius patarimus, jeigu jie nesiri\u0161a prie gamtos d\u0117sni\u0173, yra atitol\u0119 nuo \u017emogaus prigimties. Sklaido ore daugyb\u0117 patarim\u0173 kaip suvaldyti konfliktus, bet dauguma j\u0173 tiesiog neveikia. Pasirodo n\u0117ra taip […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5544,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vyrai-moterys-santuoka-straipsniai"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934.jpg",667,375,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934-300x169.jpg",300,169,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934.jpg",667,375,false],"large":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934.jpg",667,375,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934.jpg",667,375,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/a9fd94d3-1abc-4785-a957-ea37e6f87934.jpg",667,375,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"iMami","author_link":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/author\/roberta-rumbutienegmail-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Kelet\u0105 dien\u0173 vis galvoju apie konfliktus. Ir ne tik poroje, bet apskritai tarp \u017emoni\u0173. Kod\u0117l gi mes nemokame ar negalime sugyventi kartu?! Tikrai skepti\u0161kai \u017ei\u016briu \u012f \u012fvairius teorinius patarimus, jeigu jie nesiri\u0161a prie gamtos d\u0117sni\u0173, yra atitol\u0119 nuo \u017emogaus prigimties. Sklaido ore daugyb\u0117 patarim\u0173 kaip suvaldyti konfliktus, bet dauguma j\u0173 tiesiog neveikia. Pasirodo n\u0117ra taip…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5542"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5545,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5542\/revisions\/5545"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5544"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ugdymasirauklejimas.lt\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}